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Christy Walters
Christy Walters
A Theory...
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I have a theory... it goes a little something like this.

From the dawn of time to this very hour the human population is in a constant struggle for belonging. We have the humanistic need to feel that at least one person somewhere in this world cares about us as much as we care about them.

We form a never-ending array of relationships hoping to come as close as possible to this ideal. Marriage, probably one of the seemingly closest ways to achieve this ideal has often proven to be unsuccessful; no need to state the statistics behind this sad fact. Honestly, will we ever find someone who truly cares about us and loves us as much as they love themselves? I guess this is where trust comes in, and hope.

It's apparent: this humanistic struggle (need) for mutual affection and concern has permeated our existence and is behind relationship formation. It often breeds competition and ultimate defeat (in the ending of the relationship or the loosening of ties) when dreaded doubt steps into the picture. For instance, if you were to forge a new friendship and you actively scouted out all the options trying to find the person that would willingly devote as much time to you as you to them and you find the candidate. During the relationship there inevitably comes a point of vulnerability. This manifests itself in various forms as everyone struggles against equality and mutual accord and as such, doubts anyone else defers.

The sad thing is, apart from your family(?), will you ever know or be able to prove that the person you consider to be your "closest" really feels the same about you? Or could ever feel the same? The question here is, to what extent do we only care about ourselves? It scares me to think that no matter who we meet on this earth, this mutual equality may never be reached. If it is reached, it may be only for a fleeting moment.

Everyone wants to grasp *that* moment with *that* person for as long as they possibly can, making that moment last a lifetime. In the end, life is only a fleeting moment, so no matter how long you achieved that standard, holding on to that moment is essentially forever, who's counting? Then there's the easy way: Don't worry about it. Your mind is the only thing that can tell you it doesn't exist. As the famous quote, "in life there exists nothing good nor bad, only the mind makes it so". I would like to modify: " In life and relationships there exists no equality and inequality, only the mind makes it so."

If you've never had that feeling, your probably like the other 95% of the population. I think the underlying motive to my theory is: humility is the only way to achieve this standard. Unless you bring yourself down to the level of others and show empathy and concern, you will never receive it in return.

Humans are an inherently selfish species.

I didn't want to end this on a negative note so I will say that no matter how many theories are out there, we will never know their truth. A theory is a theory, It can be defeated. Yes defeated. Yes I want to defeat my own theory,

April 17, 2008 | 8:46 PM Comments  0 comments

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